Monday, April 18, 2011

Heartache and Forgiveness

I have started the process of weaning Joy.  We are taking it slow, just eliminating the mid-day feeding right now.  But one of the steps I'm trying to take is to un-associate nursing and sleeping.

So this evening, I nursed Joy before her bath, then went to just put her to bed after her bath.  She did not like that idea at all.  She cried and screamed at me.  I held her the whole time, because nursing is such a close bond, I didn't want her to feel like I was abandoning her by refusing to let her nurse.  She kept crying and reaching her arms up at me.  It was so heartbreaking, because I knew exactly what she wanted and how easy it would be to give it to her.  But I just kept holding her, rocking her, and singing to her. 

It felt like forever, but I guess it was just about 5 minutes before she finally calmed down.  I layed her down in her crib and gently rubbed her back and kept humming until I saw her eyes beginning to drift shut; then I quietly left.  I felt horrible and just wanted to sit down and cry.

5 minutes later, she started fussing again.  I went in to check on her.  She had rolled over onto her back, and when she saw me come in, she smiled at me.  I walked over and rolled her back onto her tummy, and she looked back over her shoulder and smiled again, and just kind of squirmed around getting comfortable.  I said good night, went back out, and she went to sleep. 

I felt so much better.  It was like she had called me back in to tell me that she forgave me, and she was sorry for acting the way she did.  Now I feel like this whole weaning process is going to be ok.  I know there will be many more hard moments like tonight, but we'll come out all right in the end, and I'll still have my special bond with my special girl.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Beautiful Day

First off, Joy wore this today:

Everytime she wears this outfit, I want to start singing "You Are My Sunshine."  So I do.  All day.  She loves it.

Second, although I was loving my cuddle time on the couch with my kiddos, which looked something like this:

It was such a beautiful day outside (see that sun shining in the window?) that I knew I had to get them outside.  We stay inside so much, because I'm usually trying to get chores done, but I ditched all that today, and we went outside.

We spent about an hour outside.  For the majority of the time, we were just right outside the front door.  We took out a blanket for Joy, and a ball and his tricycle for William.  At first, I spread the blanket on the grass for Joy, but she kept reaching over and trying to eat the grass, so I had to move her to the sidewalk and just keep close to be sure she didn't fall over and hit her head.  William rode his tricycle a little and chased his ball around.  Our next door neighbor's son who is 6 or 7 came out and played ball with William a little, too.  When we got bored of that, we put our things inside and went for a walk.  I just let William lead the way, and we counted stairs and found flowers before looping back around to our house.  The weather was absolutely gorgeous today: sunny and beautiful without being hot.  We had a great time.

When we got home, I made William and Joy hot dogs and peas for dinner.  I made french fries, too, but they got burnt.  They both ate really well.

Isn't she getting good with her sippy cup?  Although I think she's chewing more than drinking.

Joy was exhausted and went to bed at 6:30, so I got some extra cuddle time with William before he went to bed.  It was a good way to end the day.  And there is nothing sweeter than when my little boy spontaneously tells me that he "looooves" me.


I'm going to end with a prayer request for my boy.  This is him in his new carseat.  Look at his eyes.

We first noted a couple months ago that something didn't look right, and it's gotten noticeably worse.  Omar had him screened at the school last week, and they confirmed that something was wrong and labeled it.  He's got severe strabismus, which is a problem with the eye muscles, as well as severely impaired vision in his left eye.  He has an appointment with an ophthalmologist on May 4th.  From my research, I've learned that surgery is a common option for strabismus, and then he may still need glasses for his vision.  But we won't really know anything until his appointment, but his eye keeps looking worse, so please keep William's eyes and vision in your prayers.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Conversations with William

(William is in the bathroom doing his thing on the toilet.  From the bedroom, Omar and I hear a what sounds like a small explosion, and then a small whine.  I go to check.)
Mommy: Are you okay?
William (with a smile): I made a big poop!
(It's true.  He did.)

(William is helping me with the laundry.  I ask him to push the basket of clean clothes that just came out of the dryer into the bedroom.  He does.  I follow a few minutes later, and find him very carefully putting all the clean clothes from the basket into the dirty laundry hamper.)
Mommy: What are you doing?
William: I'm doing a good job!

(William has been in bed about an hour.)
William: Mommy! Mommy!
Mommy (walking into bedroom): What's wrong, William?
William (pointing to leg pulled up to his chest): My knee is bent!
Mommy: Ok.
William: My knee!  It's bent!
Mommy: Does it hurt?
William: No, it's bent!
Mommy: Well, that's ok, it's suppose to bend.
William: I have to go potty.

Mommy: Are you a bird?
William: No!
Mommy: Are you a puppy?
William: No!
Mommy: Are you a William?
William: No!
Mommy: No? Who are you, then?
William: I'm daddy!